


Okobojo

by posingasme



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Evolution Gone Wrong, Gen, Hunt Gone Wrong, M/M, romance gone wrong, vacation gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-06-19 16:54:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15514302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/posingasme/pseuds/posingasme
Summary: All Castiel asked for is a few days of vacation, just the two of them, where he could have Sam’s full attention for once. That’s hard when Sam knows Dean and Donna are teaming up for a hunt without him. This diversion is quickly becoming a division.





	1. Four Days Ago

Sam was sprinting, but his voice was entirely clear in spite of the bad connection. So were his words. “If you ever tell Dean I said this, I’ll call you a liar!”

“Said what?” Castiel cried into the phone. 

“Were-Bear!” his lover shouted, and the line between them went dead. 

***  
FOUR DAYS BEFORE 

The prospect of taking a break sounded like a great one. But in reality, Stanford years aside, Sam had never been one for taking time away from hunting. Every time he tried, he began to lose his mind. 

Castiel had asked, and so he was going to try, but he couldn’t promise anything beyond that. 

Dean was unpacking groceries in the kitchen when Sam entered. He looked up. “Hey. Got you that vegetarian, organic, low sodium soup stuff. Which sounds a little like a threat now that I say it out loud.”

Sam smirked at him. “Thanks.” Dean was a bitch about a lot of things, and he would always make fun of Sam’s attempts at healthy living. But he also made an effort to get Sam what he wanted, and that was appreciated. “It’s good. You should try some.”

His brother went back to shuffling through paper bags. “Yeah. I’ll just add some bacon and potatoes. And flavor.” He tossed a box at Sam without looking up. “This looked like something you’d eat.”

He fumbled the container, and frowned at it. “These are dried leeks.”

Dean glanced, and nodded. “Yeah. Gluten-free. That means healthy and tasteless, right?”

“Why would anyone dry leeks?”

At last, Dean turned to shrug at him. “I don’t know what a leek is. And don’t care. So are you and Cas hanging out for dinner tonight, or am I on my own?”

Sam took a deep breath, and placed the box on the counter. “Actually needed to talk to you about that. You said you might go check on Donna tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah. She wanted to go over some stuff she uncovered while researching. A town legend. But it’s dormant. She’s just curious about it. So I can wait to visit her if you-“

“No, no. Do it. For one thing, even a dormant legend might turn out to be something that needs to be taken care of one day. Better to do it before bodies start to drop.”

“That’s what she said. Animal attacks from the thirties, then again in the seventies. Worth looking at. And there’s nothing else going on. Weirdly quiet out there.”

Sam continued carefully. “I’m not going to go. You don’t need me. And Cas wants...He asked me if I would…”

Dean lifted a brow. “I think I said no details about what Cas wants from you. That was the deal.”

A warmth filled his cheeks, and he scowled at his brother. “No! I mean he wants us to go on a vacation.”

Now both brows were reaching up. “A vacation! Cas said he wants a vacation?”

“Sort of. It took me a while to figure out what he was asking for. He kept saying things like holiday and furlough and sabbatical. And then he talked about a diversion from our life of violence and adrenaline.”

Dean burst into laughter. “A diversion, huh? Yeah, I guess you two have more than earned one of those. So? Vegas?”

Sam shook his head. “No. A cabin at a lake in the mountains or something. Just for a few nights, maybe a whole week. But I’ll have my phone on me, and if you need-“

“It’s fine, Sammy. Take the stupid angel on a vacation. I don’t care. Look out for wendigos and poison ivy.”

He snickered. “Our lives are weird, man.”

“Yes, they are.”

He was walking away, when it occurred to him he didn’t know where Dean was headed. “Donna hunting in her own backyard, or what?”

“Nope. Sully County, South Dakota. And I’m not telling you the town name.”

Sam frowned at this. “Why not?”

“Because you’ll research it. I’m not letting a hunt that’s probably nothing cockblock an already frustrated angel. Go.”

He huffed at the insinuation, but acknowledged that he probably would research if he knew exactly where Dean and Donna were headed. He glowered at his brother. “I just want to know what kind of monster is going to eat you. It’ll give me something nice to dream about.”

Dean snickered. “Ghost, maybe. Probably a screech owl and some wind chimes. I’ll let you know if I die.”

“I appreciate that.”

So he packed and went online to choose a place to go with his oft-neglected celestial lover, and didn’t give Donna’s hunt another thought. 

Except that Sully County was right on the Missouri River. And a quick glance online showed him Lake Oahe, which looked lovely, right along the river. And there was a fantastic rustic cabin, overlooking the water, for rent right there in Pierre. A little larger than Sam and Castiel needed for just the two of them, perhaps, but it was priced well for a weeklong vacation this time of year. 

He smiled to himself while he booked the space. The fact that it was in the same geographical vicinity as Sully County had nothing at all to do with the choice.


	2. Four Nights Ago

Castiel felt a soft smile spread across his face. He sighed happily. “This is beautiful, Sam,” he murmured as he walked into the cabin.

Sam was checking his phone again, but he looked up and nodded. “Yeah! A little overkill on the hunting lodge theme, but it is a cabin for hunting and fishing, so…”

Castiel narrowed his eyes. “For hunting.”

His lover slipped his hand into his own. “Geese, Cas. Deer. That sort of hunting.”

“You said you would-“

“And I am! We’re here to relax, Cas. I promise.”

Relief settled in comfortably, and Castiel’s smile returned. He wandered the cabin curiously. “It’s quite large, Sam,” he commented.

Sam looked up from his phone again. “Yeah, I thought so too. But we can stretch out. Not like a motel room.”

Castiel hummed his agreement. He wondered what stretching out entailed. He hoped it meant quiet nights spent kissing and making love at every opportunity. His wandering took him to a set of stairs, which led to a loft with a splendid view of the water. It was really very nice.

“I’m going to put the food and stuff away!” Sam called to him.

He nodded to himself. This was going to be a wonderful week. His first true furlough in his long life, certainly the first holiday he had ever taken with a beloved companion. He had traveled the world and beyond, but he had never done this before. “This will be the perfect diversion,” he announced to Sam upon his return to the kitchen.

Sam smiled at him. “Yeah? It’s called a vacation, man.”

He shrugged. “It sounds far too much like vocation. And that is what I hope to leave behind for just a few days.”

His lover’s laugh was never unkind. “Is that why? Okay. We’ll call it whatever you want. Cas and Sam’s excellent adventure.”

This pleased him. “Yes!” he said. He sat on the bench at the breakfast table. “Yes. It will be excellent.”

The laughter continued, but it was punctuated by a sweet kiss, so he didn’t mind.

“Sam? What will we do on our adventure?”

The man put his hands up in a little shrug. “Whatever you want, angel. Nothing, if you want. I figured we would go swimming or something tomorrow morning. That’s the only thing on my list. Beyond that, we’re just making it all up as we go.”

Pleasure filled his vessel all over. “I’m glad, Sam.”

“It’s getting late. I’m going to need some rest. Long drive.”

Castiel nodded quickly. “Of course. Do you need sleep immediately?”

Sam shook his head. “No. But I’d like to relax. Maybe I’ll read something while you watch some television?”

He couldn’t help his smile. “I love you, Sam.”

This kiss settled onto his temple. “I love you, Cas.”

Twenty minutes later saw them unpacked and curled onto a large couch in front of a fireplace. The television’s volume was at a level Castiel could hear but which was imperceptible to his human companion. Sam continued to check his phone, but hurried to put it away each time Castiel’s eyebrows raised in question.

At last, he spoke up.

“Dean is hunting, isn’t he?”

Sam looked up. There was a pause, then his cheeks began to pinken, and he shoved his phone into his pocket again. “Yeah. Sorry. I just-“

“You’ve checked your phone seven times in less than a half hour, Sam.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll put it away. I just like to be sure he can reach me if he needs me. I worry about him.”

Castiel nodded. “I’m aware of that. I worry too. But if he needs you, he will contact you by calling. You said you would try to leave hunting behind for a few days. Leave the world at the door, you said. You said your whole focus would be on us.”

Sam was flushed and flustered now. “Yeah, of-of course! But if Dean’s on a hunt, I can’t just completely unplug, you know?”

Blue eyes lowered, then he turned back to the television. “I’m not asking that you do that. All I’m asking is that you try to be present with me when you know he’s fine.”

“I never know he’s fine.” The voice was small.

Castiel sighed. “Do as you need to, Sam. I don’t want you to be unhappy or anxious. Call him if you want to check on him.”

Sam hesitated. Then he shook his head. “No. You’re right. He can call if he needs me. It’s no big deal anyway. Don’t even know for sure it is even a case.”

He stared at his show in silence.

It was only another minute before Sam continued. “It’s just that he’s used to having backup. Me.”

“Will he be alone?” He did not look back at Sam.

“Well, no. Donna’s with him. It’s her hunt, actually.”

“Donna Hanscum. The sheriff you said had all the intelligence and instincts of a hunter born to the life. That Donna?”

“Yeah.”

“The one Dean says can take out a nest of vampires with just a machete and a smile?”

“Um. Yeah.”

“Hm.”

Sam took a long breath. “You’re right. I know. I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “Do as you need to do,” he said again.

He felt Sam’s arms wrap around him. “I need to hold you. That’s what I need to do right now.”

That soft pleasure welled in him again, and he was beginning to smile.

They both froze when Stairway began creeping into the air. Castiel met Sam’s eyes.

Then the angel nearly toppled off the couch as the man he was leaning on leapt from it to answer his phone. “Dean? What’s wrong?”

Castiel frowned. He was torn between immediate concern for his human-brother and annoyance at his human-lover.

But he could clearly hear Dean’s laugh through Sam’s phone. “Nothing! We’re good! Jody met us up here for a few drinks. She’s got to head home in the morning, but I thought you might want to say hey to my best girls!”

Relief covered Sam’s face. Relief...and something else. “Best girls. Like you’re freaking Steve Rogers!”

“Hey, if anybody is Peggy Carter, it’s one of these two badasses drinking me under the table right now.”

“Heya, Sam!” a female voice called. “Going ghostbusting tomorrow. Jody is leaving us the dirty work. Maybe you can come take her place, eh?”

“I’m leaving them to hunt some feral cats in a ghost town,” Jody corrected loudly. “Only thing that’s going to bother them is a hangover!”

“Says you! You’re just jealous you have to be back home tomorrow. You want in, and you know it.”

Sam laughed quietly. “Hey, ladies. Somebody walk my big brother to his motel room, make sure he gets there okay, will you? He’s too delicate to walk around a city at night alone.”

“Will do, Sam.”

“Thanks, Sammy.”

“This a city? This is the middle of no place, Sam. And no place is where they’re heading tomorrow. Okobojo has four families living in it. Not like four. Four. And no ghosts, monsters or angsty teenagers among them. I’m in a lot more danger at home than they will be there!”

“Okoboji?” Sam said. “I thought that was near-“

“Okobojo!” Jody called.

“Aw, don’t tell him. He’ll spend all night researching like the big nerd he is.”

“Sam, I got your brother. He’s in good hands! You betcha!”

“Yeah! Especially since they’re not going to find anything to hunt in that hole! Maybe ferrets.”

“I’ll hunt a ferret. I’ll hunt anything.”

Sam snickered. “Ladies, have Dean tell you about the time he ran three city blocks from a Yorkie terrier.”

“I hate you, Sam.”

“I know.”

“We love you, Sam! See you soon!”

“Bye, girls! Wish I could be there! Stay safe!”

Castiel was staring at him when he hung up and turned. He took a breath, and tried to smile. “They seem fine. I’m glad.” Then he clicked the television off, and stood. “You should sleep. I think I may go walk for a little while.”

Sam blinked at him. “You’re not coming up with me? I thought…”

He shook his head. “I don’t require sleep, Sam. I won’t be gone all night. You rest.”

There came a slow nod. “Okay. Are you...okay?”

“Of course.”

The night was cooler here than it had been back at the bunker. Castiel soon found himself standing at the water’s edge, feeling the chill and wondering how it would feel to a human’s skin. To Sam’s skin. When he had been human, or as close as any angel had ever been by that time, the cold had been an enemy, yet another thing which was working to kill him. As if hunger, fatigue, angels and reapers were not enough, the cold was entirely unsympathetic.

The loneliness had been hard too. He had spent whole nights thinking of the way Dean’s order to “Get to the bunker” had suddenly become “You can’t stay here, man.” He knew now that it had been a condition Gadreel had laid down, in exchange for healing Sam from inside him, back when the worst Gadreel had done in millennia was lie about his name. But at the time, the words had crushed Castiel. His only friends in the world had cast him out into it without any clear explanation. Certainly, it was what he deserved, after his stupid mistakes. But, oh, did it hurt. Worse than anything else, it hurt to be alone.

Castiel was a survivor. He had been called many things in his time, but it came down to that. He survived. Even when he was at his lowest, even when he was alone and useless and hungry, he told himself that there could one day come a time that Dean or Sam needed him, and whatever little he could do for them, he would do, with every last ounce of strength. He could still fight, and would do so until his dying breath. He had done so until then several times before.

If Sam ever needed him, ever needed anything from him, he had only to ask.

While he stood there feeling the chill at the edge of the water, he found himself wishing Sam needed something from him.


	3. Three Mornings Ago

Sam had to stop reading lore before bed. Lucifer had possessed a chupacabra in his dreams, and spent all night draining Sam of blood and cackling about it being a fine vintage with a smoky hint of Azazel’s taint. He was exhausted.

His sigh alerted his bedmate that he was awake. Castiel turned onto his side and smiled, though he did not meet Sam’s eyes with his own. “Hello, Sam.”

It was such a pleasure to awaken to that deep-voiced, familiar greeting. He smiled back. “Hey, Castiel. Did you doze at all?”

“Not this time. How did you sleep?”

Sam groaned, but it turned into a yawning stretch. “It’s fine. Nightmares. But nothing new. Just reruns of all the classics.”

Castiel frowned, and finally met his gaze. There was tender concern there. “Lucifer,” he guessed quietly.

“The one and only.”

“I’m thankful for that at least. Even the King of Hell is no second Devil.”

“Still like to stab him in the brain one day.”

Castiel let his frown deepen. “Crowley doesn’t utilize a brain, Sam. Like me, he breathes, to keep his vessel healthy, to clear out toxins, which is ironic, considering he is the most toxic thing one could have in one’s body, but-“

“And I’d still like to stab him in the brain he doesn’t use.”

He nodded. “I have wanted that from our first encounter.”

Sam smiled softly. “I tried to shoot him with the Colt when we first met. I didn’t think to check for ammo.”

“It’s less effective without it.”

“So I discovered.” He stretched again, and sat up. “So? Where did you go last night?”

Castiel looked away again. “I needed time to reflect. I took a walk around the lake.”

“Around...around the entire lake?”

“Only the part that doesn’t lead into the enormous river.”

“Okay.” Sam felt anxiety building in his stomach suddenly. “Is something wrong?”

His lover was quiet for a moment, which did little for Sam’s nerves. Then he shook his head. “Of course not. You wanted to swim. I found an excellent spot for it.”

Relief washed over him. “That’s great. Thanks.”

His angel nodded. “I calculated the trajectory of the sun and shade of the trees nearby, and I think the optimal time for swimming might be about ten this morning. The water will be a little warmer, and yet the shade will provide protection from the sun. The turn of the earth at that time will be such that the sun’s rays will hit the water in that spot quite generously, but there will be enough shade to keep it from harming your skin. You can spend your time in the sunlight or in the shade as you prefer.”

Sam couldn’t help his laugh. “You’re awesome, Cas. Thank you.”

He shrugged. “I simply calculated the earth’s tilt. The planet is the one doing the work.” Castiel stood out of the bed with effortless grace. “I’ll leave you some privacy to get ready for your day.”

“Wait!” He grabbed Castiel’s hand. “Wait, Cas, don’t you…I mean, we aren’t in a hurry. Right?”

“No.”

But his lover still avoided Sam’s eyes. Something was wrong. Castiel was upset by something. “Hey, angel? Do you want to talk about something?”

“No. I specifically don’t.”

That was hardly encouraging. “Well...something is eating at you. I’d like to know what.”

Castiel shook his head stubbornly. “I’ll prepare some food for you if you like.”

Sam sighed. “I’m just going to pour some cereal, Cas.” He reached for his phone. “I want to call Dean and mention something I found online while researching his hunt last night. Okobojo might be a literal ghost town, but I don’t think so. I think there’s something else. Donna might not have known how to interpret it if she saw this in her reading.”

“Oh. Good. More information will help them stay safer. And...and then you’ll be finished with researching?”

He stood out of the bed to stretch one last time. “Yeah. I mean, I’ll probably look over some stuff, as we get more information from the field. But until they do some looking around, I won’t be sure what we’re dealing with.”

“What...what they’re dealing with.”

“Yeah, Donna said ghost, and I just don’t feel that this time. I’ll get a better feel once they sniff around out there. But I’ll need to let Dean know what I found, so he knows what to look for.”

Castiel was nodding very slowly. “That seems...prudent. I’ll-I’ll give you space.”

Sam leaned in to kiss his angel. And missed.

Castiel had turned his head just at the wrong moment, and the kiss landed on his jaw instead of his lips.

He laughed a little. “We’re out of synch, angel.”

“I agree,” that deep voice returned, and Castiel continued toward the door. When he closed it behind him, it felt to Sam as though he were closing it between them.

Dean was still in bed, and clearly hung over. “What? Sam, what?”

Sam snorted softly. “Rise and shine, jerk.”

“Bitch,” came the automatic reply.

“I looked into your Okobojo thing. And I don’t think you’re hunting a ghost, man.”

He heard the groan across the line. “Dude-“

“No, listen. I looked into it, and there are patterns that are way too exact for a haunting.”

“Ghosts have patterns. Like the highway chick with the creepy-ass redneck. Once a year, on the night she died.”

“Sure, sometimes. But if you look at the attacks, they’re not associated with a calendar year.”

“That Sam?”

His eyebrows shot up. “Um. Is that Donna? Dean, you-you didn’t…”

“What? No. We walked each other back to the room. Her room. And I fell asleep in her bathroom. So she walked me to the couch. It was all disgustingly platonic.”

“You weren’t wearing pants!” The voice called cheerfully.

“I had boxers, Sammy. Don’t listen to her.”

“He’s a pain in the ass when he’s on vodka!”

“I’m-You’re the one who...Shut up.”

Sam smirked. “Nice comeback.”

“Thanks. I’m proud of it.” Dean groaned again. “Hey, Sheriff, Sam says your barn owls are on some kind of pattern.”

Then Donna was holding the phone. “Heya, Sam. No, I saw that too. But it doesn’t align like it looks like. I checked the moon cycles. Doesn’t match up.”

He looked down at the scribbles in his notebook. “Maybe not. But I still...This is something that would’ve kept my dad up all night. There’s something there. I’m sure of it.”

“I thought so too, kiddo. But it’s not as nice and neat as it looks. I’m still thinking ghost.”

“I’m thinking barn owls,” Dean grumbled.

“He was thinking ghost too before he woke up all hungover. Now all he can think is sleep and bacon.”

“Owl bacon.”

“Sam, aren’t you supposed to be on a little vacay?”

He was still frowning down at his data. “Hunters don’t get vacation time, Donna.” He sighed again, and put the notebook down. “Okay, anyway, be careful. Pattern or no pattern, you go kicking a hornet nest, and something will come after you. Keep your eyes open. Text me anything you find. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Hey to Cas!” Dean called.

Sam looked up. “Oh. Yeah, I’ll tell him. Stay safe.”

“Will do!” Donna sang. They hung up while Dean was demanding to know why she wasn’t hungover too.

He smiled a little. “Be careful, big brother.”

After a shower, Sam felt his anxiety fading. Dean and Donna were fine. Lucifer was relegated back to the darkest room of his brain. And the shower head was set high enough so that he didn’t have to duck to enjoy it. He missed the bunker’s excellent water pressure, but this beat the hell out of whatever motel Dean was waking up in this morning.

It was hard being benched for this hunt. But it was what Castiel asked, and so he didn’t really mind. He just hoped Dean and Donna texted him everything along the way. Just in case he could help remotely.

When he had washed and shaved, he descended the stairs to find his angel staring out the French doors at the water. He put his arms around him from behind, and muttered, “Hey,” into his lover’s ear.

Castiel turned his head a little, and gave him a soft smile. “Hello, Sam.”

“Hey,” he said again. “I’m going to grab some cereal. Then, if you want, we can head out for a walk till the optimal time and place for swimming.”

At last, Castiel turned completely, and looked up at him. “You’re finished, then?”

Sam blinked at him. “Finished what?”

“Hunting.”

He shrugged. “Cas, I’m not on the hunt. Just doing a little digging on my end to help out. Like you said, if Dean needs me, he’ll call. And since we’re less than a half hour away, I can get there if they need back-“

The angel flinched as though he had been slapped. “Less than...You mean the hunt is in this area?”

Sam slowed his speech. He was suddenly getting the feeling he was about to make a mistake, but wasn’t sure how to avoid it, since he wasn’t certain what mistake he was about to make. “Yeah? I mean, they’re like twenty minutes south, down the river. In Okobojo.”

Castiel stared up at him.

The hunter cleared his throat, and took a step back. “Is that...is that a problem? Cas, what’s-“

“No,” Castiel snapped. “Of course it isn’t. It’s exactly what I should have expected. It’s fine. It’s good, in fact. I’m glad we are available to help if we are needed. Nothing is more important than the safety of our friends and the success of the hunt. Obviously.”

Sam shrugged again. “Cas, are you...angry with me?”

The angel took a deep breath, and shook his head. “Of course not, Sam. Please. Eat so we can do as you had planned for us to do. Walk. Swim.”

A bundle of confusion and hurt was curling into Sam’s stomach. But he nodded. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll-I’ll eat quickly. No problem.”

Castiel sighed, and took hold of Sam’s wrist as he turned toward the kitchen. “Sam, there’s no need to hurry. I’m sorry. I’m simply looking forward to our day together, and I want to begin right away. But it’s silly to rush you in order to begin relaxing. That makes no sense. And I want you to be happy. Relaxed. And happy.”

Some of his anxiety melted away at these words. He smiled. “I’m happy because I’m with you. I love you, Castiel.”

His angel dropped his gaze, but he smiled too. “I love you, Sam. Please let me know if…if there’s anything at all I can do for you.”

This time the kiss landed as designed. “There’s nothing more I need,” he promised.

As he hurried to get his breakfast, he could hear Castiel sighing behind him.


	4. Three Afternoons Ago

The walk was quiet, but the swim was playful, and Castiel decided that his worries were entirely unfounded. Once they were in the water, Sam had seemed to let go of everything in the world but the two of them. He chattered, and teased, and laughed, so that Castiel was left breathless in the best of ways.

Castiel had often admired a beautiful human body, probably more so in the last decade than ever, now that he was at eye level with humans like never before. Before Jimmy Novak, he had taken vessels only very briefly, and only in dire circumstances. But being up close with humans, communicating and connecting with them, especially since Jimmy himself had vacated their shared body, was very different from observing as he had his whole life. He was extremely old. But he was still new to certain pleasures and sensations.

Peanut butter and jelly was nothing compared to the particular molecules which made up beautiful Sam Winchester.

The angel watched his human duck under the water and smooth his hair back from his handsome face. Castiel’s gaze followed the water droplets which seemed to be in no hurry as they trailed down the lovely skin of the man’s shoulders and chest.

Yes, being at eye level with sheer beauty was in all ways more enjoyable than observing from afar.

“What is it like,” he asked in quiet awe, “to go through life as you do? To be so incredibly beautiful? To affect others as you do, just by being within sight? What is it like to make others weaken and lose their heads because you are near? What is it like to be you?”

His words put an immediate flush in Sam’s cheeks, and he shied away from Castiel’s gaze. “Cas, stop.”

He shook his head, and sighed. “I’m only asking because that’s what I think whenever I’m with you. How is it to be so beautiful? It cuts me fresh every time. And on days like this, when I’m alone and intimate with you, I can’t help wondering why you allow me to be the one who experiences it.”

Sam laughed awkwardly. “Metatron gave you poetry in his file share?”

Castiel narrowed his eyes. “Yes. But I’m not very impressed by most of it. Why?”

His lover shook his head at him. “You’ve seen men and women of every type, from every era, at every angle. Why the hell would you see anything special about me, Cas? I’ve never understood it, not in all the months we’ve been together.”

“Months? Sam, do you know how long we have been paired?”

Now the laugh sounded nervous. “Uh, no. Not-not exactly. I mean, I’ve died at least once since the thing with-with the grace, when you told me-And so have you, and that kind of messes with my perception of time...a little…”

Castiel listened as Sam’s voice faded off. Sometimes, when he was especially anxious, the hunter stammered so much that Castiel wasn’t entirely sure when he had finished speaking. “Yes, I can see how that would complicate matters. This week makes five years since we first said aloud that we love one another.”

The red in Sam’s cheeks began to lose out to gray. “You’re-you’re kidding.”

“No.”

“God, Cas! I didn’t realize this was some kind of-of anniversary!”

The angel shrugged. He dipped lower in the water, and let his wings skim the surface gently. “It’s all right.”

“No!” Sam cried out. “No, it’s not! I’m so sorry, Cas! How did I not know that?”

Castiel let his eyes narrow again. “Sam, as you just said, the passage of time has been...less than uniform. Consider all that has happened since then! If you don’t know the precise day we were paired, I don’t blame you for that.”

Still, Sam looked agitated. “But that’s why you wanted to go away together! That’s why you wanted to be alone. Cas, I’m sorry. I guess I never thought of it! I’ve never been with anyone long enough to have an actual anniversary together! Not one, let alone five! Closest I came was Jess back in college! And anyway, you’ve been around for so long, I guess I didn’t really think so much about the actual day...Cas, I loved you from the beginning! Five...And we’ve been separated by so many things so many times in the past few...God…”

“Yes, He was often a part of the problem,” the angel muttered irritably. Then he shook his head. “Sam, it isn’t a big deal. That’s not the important part. What I’m really saying is that five years has passed since I told you I want to love you, and I wanted the chance to be with you alone, because there’s something I’d like to do. With you.”

Now that he finally had all of Sam’s attention, he wanted to do what he had planned for their entire, strange relationship.

And now that it was here, he found that planning and being prepared were two different things entirely.

Sam was staring at him, with those wide eyes reflecting the green of the trees and the blue of the sky at the same time. It was throwing Castiel’s balance off. “Cas? What did you want to do? Name it. We’ll do whatever you want.”

The earnest promise made Castiel smile. “I want…” He laughed quietly. “I want to teach you a bit about angel culture.”

His lover’s muscles released their tension and a grin came over his face. “Is that all? Cas, I’d love that. I’ve tried to get you to teach me more about you plenty of times!” He took the angel’s hand and led him out of the water to their secluded piece of shoreline. Sam pulled on his boxers and shorts, so Castiel did the same. They sat together on their towels, letting the air dry them comfortably. Sam’s hands held his in warmth. “Teach me everything.”

If it were possible for Castiel to be any more in love with his hunter than he already was, that would have done it. He was overwhelmed suddenly, with the magnitude of the thing he had wanted so long, and the rightness of it all. This was right. Doing this with Sam was the right thing, and he knew it with a clarity so sharp it was nearly painful.

“Angels are hardly the species I identify with most now. I vastly prefer humans. And small creatures. Like cats and guinea pigs, and bees.”

Sam smirked. “We’ve noticed.”

“But there are some things about my native culture which...which are still important to me. Maybe that’s difficult to understand.”

His lover shook his head. “Of course not. Cas, your family...Most of them lost their way when God left. Some, like Zachariah and Uriel, they lost their minds. But some were just doing the best they could and made bad decisions because they’d never had to make any before!”

Castiel lowered his gaze to stare at their interlocked fingers. “I like to think of my friend Hannah that way. Even if she...Still, I think of her as one of the good ones. Even Balthazar, and perhaps Gabriel. Many others who were simply trying to survive, and were pulled into wars they didn’t believe in.”

Sam nodded, and said nothing.

He smiled, and looked up again. “In any case, I have been thinking a great deal lately about the concept of angel culture. There are so few of us remaining that it hardly matters what our society created anymore, but we did have some things in common, shared language and beliefs, at least mostly. And...rituals.”

“Music?” Sam prompted.

He blinked. “Well, yes. There’s the choir. That is, it has expired now, but when we were many, there was the choir which sang and played to exalt our Father and coax the celestial bodies into their movements.”

“What does that mean?”

“Exalt?”

There came another snicker. “No, moving the celestial bodies?”

“Oh. The constellations were sluggish and clumsy in the beginning, and so the choir was created to give them the right rhythm to dance to.”

“The stars. The choir of angels moves the stars.”

“It did. It’s no longer necessary. Much like a lot of our duties.”

“Cas, the constellations move because the earth moves.”

“And why do you think that happens?”

Sam stared. “Physics.”

The angel stared back. “And why do you think that happens?” he said again.

“Physics?”

“Yes. It is the coding God wrote into the program. The rules by which the universe exists.”

They blinked at one another for a minute, before Sam cleared his throat. “Huh,” he muttered.

“So constellations, what you call by mythical characters, we use as our tempo, as they use us for theirs. It is an interdependency; the stars we see from Heaven or here on Earth, are our calendars, kept in time by the faded momentum imbued by the music of Heaven.”

“Wow. Okay.”

“In any case, there is a ritual which is related to the cycles of the constellations, a quite rare and important one.”

Suddenly, Sam was jumping up from his space, and gesturing strangely. “Constellation cycles! Not exactly moon cycles, but still natural cycles!”

Castiel watched him helplessly. “What? What are you-“

“I’ve got to call Dean. It’s not a moon cycle! It’s a cycle of-of the constellations! I think I know how to figure out what we’re hunting in Okobojo!”

“Wait! Sam!”

But his lover had grabbed the cooler and his shirt, and was sprinting for the cabin.

“Sam?”

“Gotta call Dean! Thanks, Cas!”

Castiel slumped in his towel. He felt dizzy. “But…” He knew Sam couldn’t hear him any longer. He swallowed back his disappointment. “But I wanted to ask…” He heaved a sigh, and dropped his head into his hands.

Proposing the angel joining ritual which would bind them together forever in an unbreakable bond, in a marriage, would have to wait. He had waited millennia for the partner he couldn’t live without. He could wait another day.


	5. Just then, and always...

Dean and Donna were on a real hunt. After all the teasing about barn owls and active imaginations, it turned out that Donna’s instincts were right on track. Except that this was no ghost. It wasn’t even just one creature. It was a pack. A freaking pack.

“Yeah, we figured that out,” Dean hissed, “but thanks for narrowing down the kind of predator that stole Donna twenty minutes ago.”

Sam could hear the slide of Dean’s gun. His heart leapt into his throat. “Donna...was taken? Was she turned?”

“‘No. They were in their human forms. We thought we had ruled out werewolves.”

His breath was shallow. “Because of the moon cycles.”

“Yeah,” Dean growled.

“Dean, I’m so sorry I didn’t think of it before.”

“Ain’t your hunt, little brother. This one is all on me. Dad would’ve seen it if he were here on the ground. I didn’t. If I lose Donna…”

Sam swallowed hard. “We’re not going to lose her. You said they took her. They didn’t kill her. They’re waiting for the constellation. They’re waiting till they change. This group is very ritualistic. The deaths have always been on that pattern, with no deviation. And I’m willing to bet most of the sacrifices over the years...I bet they’ve all been hunters. They’re looking for a hunter.”

“Yeah. Well, now they’ve got one. I’m loaded down with silver. I’m going to find the sons of bitches.”

“I’ll be there in less than an hour. Keep your phone on.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Sammy.”

“We’re gonna find her, Dean.”

His brother’s voice was as low as he had ever heard it. “Oh, I know. And I’m going to tear them down, even if I don’t make it out of there. See you soon, kiddo.”

Sam’s eyes closed, and he let the call die in his hands. When he looked up at last, he saw Castiel in the doorway, still shirtless and still frowning.

“You’re going to Dean. To the hunt.”

“I have to. Donna’s in trouble. Dean’s going to lose his head. And I can’t lose him.”

His angel nodded slowly. “I’ll pack our weapons.”

Adoration filled him all over. “Thank you, Cas.”

He took a long breath. “I always come when Dean needs me. As do you. And I look forward to meeting this sheriff too.”

“Thank you. For loving my brother as much as I do.”

“He’s my brother too. He said so. And, Sam?” he added as he lingered at the door. “I know you need the hunt as much as Dean and Donna need you. As much as you need to be there for them...something in you needs to be in on the hunt too. That’s all right. I understand. You’re a hunter. And I love you. So I’ll love you for that too.”

Tears struck Sam’s eyes suddenly, as he watched his lover hurry away to prepare.

He loved that angel. Second only to his devotion to his brother would always be infatuation with that angel. He promised himself that when this was all over, hunt or no hunt, he would give Castiel the time and attention and affection he deserved.

As he began tossing items into his bag, a thought pushed its way to the surface. Somehow, it seemed to be John’s quiet voice.

_It’s never over, Sam. This is why we don’t form attachments, and you know it. Because it’s never over. That’s why you can’t give Castiel what he wants. Because you know it’s wrong. Five years of pretending, that’s all it’s been, and that’s all it can be._

Then another voice snickered inside his head, making his gut wrench.

_It’s you, Sam. The hunt is never over when you’re the one that needs hunting. Go on. Keep fighting all those nasty bad guys. It doesn’t change what you are. And one day, they’ll be hunting you. And then you’ll wish you had played your role when you had the chance. You and me, Sam. The baddest of the bad. When you die? Where do you think you’re going to end up? Right here with me, where you belong. I’ve got your bunk reserved, buddy. We’re going to do great things together. Cage match, round two._

Sam took a jagged breath and pushed the Devil’s voice away. But he could still hear it. He could always hear it.

_I’m waiting for you, hunter..._


	6. Plan of the Day

Dean wasn’t answering his phone. 

Castiel had listened to Sam’s frustration about his inability to track Dean’s phone, but he had not understood most of it. He was old enough to have seen every major advancement in human communication technology since the first miscommunication between God and the inhabitants of the Garden. But he had never really needed to pay attention to it all until the last decade. Falling in with the Winchesters had changed Castiel’s view of everything. 

He never lamented his inoperative wings aloud, but he mourned them privately. There was a time, not long ago, when he could have searched the region in minutes. 

“It’s been two days!” Sam snapped into the silence at last. “Nothing! How do two hunters just disappear?”

“You and your brother are quite adept at disappearing,” Castiel barked back. “We spend entire seasons searching for one or the other or both of you!”

Sam quieted. “Right. Okay, but this town isn’t that big!”

“Perhaps they’ve left town.”

“No. The bodies are always recovered here. I don’t think these things are bothering to drag them back across county lines. They’re here. And they’re running out of time.”

Castiel sighed. “Then what do we try next?”

“We split up.”

He frowned. “You said-“

Sam stood and scowled at him. “I know what I said, man! But we’re out of options and out of time! We split up. And when they find me, you’ll have a fresh trail. Hopefully a fresh trail of their blood, not mine. Either way, you can get to Dean and Donna.”

“We don’t even know they will come for you! And I don’t like this idea of-“

“Cas, it’s my brother’s best chance. It’s Donna’s best chance. And they’ll come for me because I’m going to make it impossible for them to not know I’m here. And they loathe human hunters. It’s the only thing I’m sure of, after pouring over the patterns and lore. They’re always looking for hunters.”

He heaved another sigh, and this time, he felt his throat closing up on its own with emotion, a terrible phenomenon. “How will they find you? And how will I find you?”

“You’re going to wait for my call. And they...they’re going to sniff me out.”

“How?”

“What do hunters smell like, Cas?”

He grimaced. “Whiskey, salt, blood, gun oil and guilt.”

Sam gave him a humorless smirk. “I’ve got all that.”

Castiel blinked at him wearily. “Please be careful, Sam.”

“Come rescue my ass.”

“You know I will.”


	7. Right Frigging Now!

Sam was sprinting, but the connection was bad as it was. So he was sure to keep his voice clear as possible while panting. “The old barn we checked yesterday! I’m heading south from it!”

“Sam! Were you correct? What is it that is after you?”

“If you ever tell Dean I said this, I’ll call you a liar!”

“Said what?” Castiel cried into the phone.

“Were-Bear!” his lover shouted, and the line between them went dead. 

He had to hope he had given Castiel enough to go on. He dropped the beads as he ran, to create a trail for Castiel. What he needed was mud to leave tracks, but the ground was entirely dry. The directions and the beads would have to be enough. 

The pack behind him was gaining on him. Sam jogged regularly, but that was a matter of strength and stamina, not speed. It was the constant need to balance out the deadly combination of road food and spurts of high adrenaline, followed by hours of sitting in a Chevy. Dean was an obnoxiously fast runner, in spite of his insistence on never doing so unless lives were on the line. Sam’s body worked differently, and in spite of his long legs and dedicated training, his pace was giving out. 

Time to turn and fight, then. Either he won, and used his advantage to find out where the beasts had stashed his brother and friend, or he lost, and they would stash him in the same place. 

Whirling about, with his hand gripping his silver-loaded gun, revealed how unlikely the first scenario was to play out. 

The first precious round whizzed right past an enormous, grotesquely humanoid bear, but the next hit its mark. The bear roared at him in anger, but the silver did its job and the thing faltered, hit the ground with a crash. Two others caught up quickly. They barreled into him, and he lost his hold on his gun altogether. The air slammed out of him as he landed hard on his back.

“Where’s your Major?” he tried to shout. It came out as a pitiful, panting wheeze. “Your Major!”

The bear before him was easily five hundred pounds, and his left paw was raised to slash down through the hunter’s prone chest. But it had heard him. It roared in a terrifying bellow, and the rest in the pack slowed their stampede and stopped. There was loathing in their eyes. Two turned to check on their wounded packmate. 

The massive brown bear before him seemed to wrestle with himself. Then it shook itself angrily, and gave a snort. “You cry for mercy from our Major?” the distorted, fanged voice growled. 

Sam didn’t cry for mercy. But if the alternative was weeping for his brother, he would do what he had to do. “Hunter for a hunter!” he wheezed. “The woman for me! You-you want two, don’t matter what-what type, right?”

“Maybe we’ll sacrifice two and just eat the third!”

That wasn’t exactly plan A. He put his hands up, showing that he was stowing his silver. Then he lifted himself to stand very slowly. “Yeah,” he acknowledged. “Yeah, I get that. That-that sounds like a better deal. But-but hear me out. I just shot that buddy of yours with silver. I can dig it out. Save him.”

“We treat our own, hunter!”

Sam nodded. “Okay. But how much time has he got? Keep me alive, and I can help him. All you gotta do is let the woman go. I save your friend, and then you still got two hunters to sacrifice. Win win, right?”

A wail of pain came from the wounded animal nearby. Another bear spoke up. “Oso, I can’t do this myself. He thinks he can save him, you better let him try. If he fails…”

The bear before Sam snarled angrily. “If Uzmati dies, the hunter dies with him.”

He took a deep breath. “Take me to the others, and I’ll do what I can.”

Oso narrowed its glower, then shoved Sam ahead of him. “Torbern, Preben. Carry Uzmati. I need my claws free for this hunter.”

In spite of the sheer size of these beasts, there was silence around them as they marched. The only sound was an occasional snort, dry grass under Sam’s boots, and the labored breath of Uzmati. Sam dropped the beads one at a time without looking. He could not afford to call attention to his trail. 

“So?” he muttered finally. “How’d you find each of us?”

“Alcohol,” the bear spat. “Hunters always reek of it. Liquor and beer and blood. I’d know your stench anywhere.”

“We’ve run into a lot of werewolves in our time. You’re different.”

Oso snorted again. “We are nothing like those mindless monsters. We don’t live among humans. We subsist on deer and fish as our ancestors did. We take only those humans our rituals demand. But you hunters, you just keep coming. So? We use hunters in our rituals. Win win,” he mocked. 

“The rituals involve the stars. The constellations?”

There was a blink of surprise, quickly covered by a scowl. “Haven’t known a hunter to figure that out since the one in the suit we sacrificed in 1938. Called himself a hunter of letters or some nonsense.”

Sam cringed. “That wasn’t a hunter. It was a scholar. A Man of Letters. He was probably research-“

“He was on our land, and in our business, and just in time for our changing ceremony. Our Major delivers what we need as we need it. And I don’t care how many letters a man has. If it’s a man, that’s enough reason for me to kill it. Especially if it smells like a hunter.”

As they walked on and on through the fields, Oso left his side to check on his wounded friend. The one called Torbern took his place in charge of Sam. But this one watched him so curiously that Sam felt his stare. 

“Are you really going to help Uzmati?” it asked. This voice was younger, softer.

Sam looked up at him. “I said I would. I can’t promise I won’t try to shoot him again if I get the chance, once I’ve gotten my friends safe. But I keep my word. If they let Donna go, I’ll do what I can to dig out the silver. One shot would’ve killed a werewolf. I had a hunch it would take more for your kind.”

Torbern nodded slowly. “You’re not here to hunt us, then? But you’re a hunter. I don’t understand.”

Sam glanced back to find the other beasts engaged in their own conversation. He turned back to the younger bear. “Look. The research I’ve done aligns with what your buddy said. You don’t go looking for kills unless it’s time for your screwed up sacrifices. I can’t let you keep killing people. But right now, I just want to get my friends safe.”

“What if…” This time, it was Torbern who glanced around them. He lowered his voice. “What if the sacrifices ended? What if some of us…”

Realization filled Sam with shock. “You don’t want to kill them.”

The beast shook its head. “Most of us don’t. Oso...he’s from the old guard. Uzmati is our Minor. The Major will always demand the sacrifices, but if Uzmati were to become the new Major, and if his life were to be saved by a hunter who just wanted to save his friends and leave us in peace...Oso will fight for our Major to his death. But the rest of us are tired of the ceremonies. Or at least the parts with the dead humans. Uzmati says the sacrifices aren’t necessary. That they’re just the Major settling old scores from generations ago. And he says that it’s a cycle, that the hunters keep coming and killing our kind because we keep stealing and killing theirs. And our kind...we are the last. Humans reproduce faster than the deer, but we will be gone in only a few generations if we don’t stop the killing now. Most of us see that. But the Major…”

Sam chewed his lip. “Get me to your Major. I’ll save Uzmati, if they’ll release Donna. And my friends and I will help him take over and change things for your people. Then we can get word out to other hunters to leave this place alone.”

Inside the grotesque not-human, not-bear face sparkled hopeful dark eyes. “Allying with a hunter. I’m probably bringing shame to my ancestors.”

“Maybe. But you’re ensuring there will be descendants one day, and I think that’s worth pissing off your grandparents.”

The thing smiled, and Sam had to look away. 

Allying with monsters. What would Henry and Samuel think of that? What would John think? It certainly wouldn’t be the first time, nor the last. 

Monsters, hunters, angels, demons, fairies and ghosts. The species didn’t matter so much anymore. There was evil to be found on every side, and every so often, there was good to be found too. It was hard for Dean to acknowledge sometimes, but Sam was always hoping to find redemption in the things they hunted. It was more evidence that he could one day be truly redeemed himself. 

One day, he might deserve the love of that glorious angel tracking him right now. If were-bears weren’t all bad, maybe there was hope for monsters like Sam too...


	8. Just a few minutes gone...

It was a simple thing to follow Sam’s trail of beads, and Castiel was oddly pleased his idea had worked so well. Sam had laughed at him when he mentioned having heard a story about the German Black Forest once in which a little girl and boy-

“Dropped breadcrumbs? Seriously?”

He felt his wings ruffling in irritation. “Not actual breadcrumbs. Something less palatable to birds. Wooden beads, for instance. You know the story then.”

“Yeah. Turns out Hansel is a creep. We ran into him when Dean was a teenager. We should really tell each other more of our own stories.”

A sadness softened his annoyance. When Dean was a teenager, meaning that Sam wasn’t. How young had this man begun this life? It was no wonder that he couldn’t take a week away from it without losing his mind. It wasn’t just Sam’s job. It was his life. Someone could take time off a vocation, but there could be no rest when one’s job was his entire identity. Sam would always need the hunt. It was simply who he was. 

Well, Castiel loved who he was. And no lycanthropic caniform was going to end his chance to tell Sam so. 

Before long, he reached a spot where he could smell blood on the trail. He could see the beads continuing, but the blood was unmistakable. It wasn’t Sam’s. Gratitude welled up in his heart. His hunter wasn’t safe, but he was conscious, as evidenced by the continuing bead trail, and he wasn’t bleeding from wounds. In their world, this was the best case scenario. 

Never safe. Sam would never be safe. But Castiel could fight at his side to protect him. That was the most they could have, and so it would be what Castiel would seek with his whole heart. He was the guardian angel of a selfless hero and his courageous brother. And when the day was won, it was Castiel who would watch over them. 

Maybe he and Sam would never get their holiday. They had work to do, and that was all right, so long as they faced it together. 

With these thoughts, Castiel let his blade drop into his waiting hand, and he lowered himself into the mouth of the cave where Sam’s trail led him. 

***

Torbern had spoken softly to his friend Uzmati while Sam worked. There was a lot of growling between them, and cries of pain as Sam performed his field surgery. Once the silver was removed, Uzmati began to heal at an impressive rate. He had taken one long look at Sam, seemed to determine that the hunter was genuine in his promises, and made the call for his pack followers. 

The entire cave system seemed to burst into chaos all at once. Sam took advantage of this to free his brother. Donna had been released just before the Major was attacked by its successor, and now she had returned, diving back into the fray with Sam’s angel at her side. Dean was badly wounded, but he would live. Donna rushed to his side, and helped him to the cave entrance. Her only injuries appeared to be superficial cuts and bruises, for which Sam was grateful. 

Once Dean and Donna were out, Sam turned to assess the situation. Uzmati had the Major on the ground, snarling, demanding and pleading for it to surrender before Uzmati was forced to kill his leader. Sam held his gun focused on the Major’s head, but he looked around him. Torbern was backed against a cave wall by Oso, whose eyes flashed in violent fury. 

“Cas! The large one!” he shouted. 

Like a dancer, Castiel whirled on the enormous bear attacking Torbern. His pale coat floated around him like wings, as he threw himself without hesitation at the enemy Sam had pointed out. 

If Sam weren’t already out of breath, it might have been taken completely by the vision of his lover in flight. 

In a matter of minutes, the fight was over. Uzmati and Torbern and their friends were covered in blood, but healing quickly. Castiel, with one eyebrow peaking sharply, pulled his blade from the chest of Oso, now lifeless at his feet. Uzmati had broken the neck of the Major, whose name Sam had not even caught, and Sam had fired one round of silver into its head to prevent healing. Several of the pack were weeping, but Uzmati was speaking with confidence. In the distraction, Sam and Castiel locked eyes and hurried after Donna and Dean. 

Torbern came barreling out behind them. “Hunter!” he called. 

“Sam.”

“Sam.” The beast’s eyes were red and tearful, but he smiled. “Thank you. You’ll keep your promise? You’ll tell other hunters to leave us alone? Uzmati has promised there will be no more humans sacrificed. He’s the Major now, and he says the Ursa gods require no such thing of us. We will keep the most ancient and right rituals, but we need not involve humans in them. He has said that our kind thrived before, generations ago, without the sacrifices, and we will do so again. Beginning today.”

Sam nodded. “Stay good, Torbern. Or the deal is off. Hunters will leave you alone here, but they’ll be watching.”

“As will we,” the young bear vowed. “Hunters are not welcome here. You and your friends are the only ones who have ever survived such interaction. The sacrifices may be done, but hunters have hurt us immeasurably over the centuries. Your constellation is a reminder to us that there are creatures even the Ursas fear.”

“Our…” Sam took a breath. “Right. The Hunter, Orion. Good. Let it remind you to keep to yourselves, and we will do the same.”

Torbern gave a single nod, then turned to Castiel. “You are not a hunter. You smell different. But you fight like one. You killed Oso without hesitation, at your Major’s command. I thank you for your assistance in my fight. But I wonder at a creature which follows orders to kill from a hunter Major without even a breath of thought. Hunter or not, you are to be feared, and if you share any trait with our kind, I pray that it is the ability to grieve a fallen enemy as you would a friend. You are cold, and I sense from you no soul. Your Major is intelligent and reasonable. I hope you will continue to follow his orders, as I’m not sure if you can trust your own heart. I will grieve Oso for the rest of my days. Should you forget him yourself, it is proof that you are more the monster than I.”

Castiel’s lips parted, but he did not respond. 

Sam winced inside. “Come on, Cas. Dean needs healing.”

It was a very long, very quiet walk back to the center of a silent ghost town.


	9. Tonight

The angel could see his lover was torn about the post-hunt celebratory drinks. Celebrating being alive was their only occupational benefit. So when Castiel suggested they stay and enjoy the evening with Donna and Dean, he wasn’t surprised to be rewarded with a big grin.

Castiel sat beside the sheriff and the two of them quietly enjoyed the banter between the brothers. Sam razzed Dean about having to come to his rescue on a hunt for barn owls that turned out to be ritualistic brown bears seeking sacrifices to their constellation gods. Dean basked in the triumph of making Sam slip up and say “were-bears” without meaning to. Through it all, Castiel watched Sam’s handsome, happy face.

Donna leaned into him while the brothers argued about trivialities. “You ever seen anything like them in your life?”

Castiel smiled. “I’ve been alive a very long time,” he responded quietly.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And no. There has never been anything like them in this world or any other.”

Donna snickered. “Probably just as well. Uff da! Can you imagine a world with more than one set of these crazies?”

“No. Nor would I like to imagine this one without them.”

Donna hummed in agreement. Then she smirked at him. “So you’re Sam’s angel. Good to finally meet you, kiddo!”

He turned to her at last. “Thank you. He is very complimentary of you, as both a hunter and a friend.”

She brightened, but laughed even as pink warmed her cheeks. “Aw, far as that goes, you save a guy from a couple of fanged things once or twice, and he’s bound to say nice things.”

He gave her a soft smile, and went back to watching his lover, who was refusing to show that Dean amused him.

“He’s gonna say yes, you know.”

Castiel blinked several times, and frowned. “What?”

Donna shrugged at him. “To whatever you’re worried about. He’s going to say yes to it.”

A hollow dread crept into his chest. He could not look away from Sam’s face. “What do you mean?”

“Take it from someone who knows what love isn’t, Castiel. He will always say yes.”

He swallowed down fear, and cleared his throat. “Sam is...He is…”

“He’s in love with you.”

“Yes, but-“

Donna set her beer down, and took hold of Castiel’s unsteady hand. “Hey, angel? Leave it go. He’s in love with you. Think for a darn minute how special that is, how important. When it’s real, you’ll make things work, no matter how hard. And when it’s hard, you work harder. Because it’s worth it.”

A tiny, trembling smile returned to his face. “He is worth anything. Any effort, any pain. And he is deserving of far more than I am. I’m a broken seraph.”

“Yeah? And I’m a broken sheriff. Nobody knows how to love better than those of us that had to rebuild our hearts from splinters. Yah?”

Something about this woman made hope stream into his lungs, and he felt as though he were taking a full breath for the first time in days. “I want to ask him to-to accept an angel joining bond. It’s something an angel does only once in a lifetime, and most never do at all. It’s forbidden to join with a human. But…”

Donna’s smile was in her voice. “But Sam Winchester isn’t just any human. Don’t ya know that, then?”

“Yes. He’s the best of humanity, and yet something new entirely.”

“Castiel, there’s a whole slurdge of folks out there would like what you got. Ask him.”

“He’ll say yes.”

“Yah, for sure. He loves you. And you can see in his eyes you’re as worth it to him as he is to you.”

“It...frightens me at times...Loving him can make me do anything. I would kill or die for him in a breath. No hesitation. Dean as well, but...I haven’t had such devotion like I have to Sam since...since my Father. I sometimes wonder what that makes me.”

Donna’s voice was kind, and her hand was warm. “Makes you a man in love.”

He glanced at her in surprise. “I am not a man.”

“Don’t matter. You’re vacationing right outside Okobojo just so Sam can be near his brother. And you’re holding off on a proposal that’s eating you up inside, out for drinks instead, because you know they need time to assure one another they’re both alive after a hunt. You know what he needs to be happy, and what he needs to feel safe, and there’s nothing you’ll put before him. That’s a man in love. No matter what species you are.”

Castiel watched her wink, then dive into the conversation with the brothers seamlessly. He sat back to contemplate her words.

That bear-person was not correct. Castiel was a warrior, and always would be. But no matter what cause he served, he was not, as Dean would say, simply a hammer. He trusted Sam’s instincts in battle, and when Sam identified an enemy, Castiel did not hesitate to fly into action against it. Sam had more than earned his respect as a talented fighter and a sage leader. Under Sam’s orders, Castiel was ruthless. But he was not cold. Taking life was too often a necessary part of what they did, but he would never apologize for fighting at the sides of Sam and Dean Winchester. Even more than Heaven’s-far more than Heaven’s-their cause was just. Mistakes were made, but these men did not kill indiscriminately, nor would they ever ask Castiel to do so.

He would always answer their call, and he would always use every ounce of his strength on their behalf. The bear-person may have rightly assessed that Castiel could not be trusted to guide himself. But these brothers had a morality all their own, and it made more sense to Castiel than anything he had ever believed in.

As for prolonging his anxiety regarding his proposal to Sam that they become joined…

He didn’t mind spending a few hours celebrating a win with his friends, and getting his words exactly right inside his own head first.


	10. Eternity

Castiel was quiet. 

Sam had watched him bonding with Donna at the pub, and it had made him strangely happy. He loved the way good people immediately liked Castiel. Charlie had liked him right away, he remembered with a touch of sadness. There was something just so sweetly genuine about the angel’s charisma that anyone could see instantly that he was a loyal, true friend. 

He was also a lethal enemy. 

Sam cleared his throat as he finished preparing for bed in the silence. “Hey. You want to talk about what he said to you?”

From where he sat on the side of the bed, Castiel looked up from his hands. His elbows rested on his knees, and he almost looked as though he were praying. “Who?” The voice was weary. 

“Torbern. He judged you pretty harshly.”

He could see in one glance at those blue eyes that Torbern’s lecture had stung. But Castiel smiled through a grimace. “I’ve been judged by many in my life, Sam. I’m sure he isn’t the only one who would think as he does. It’s all right. I know where my heart belongs, and it is secure with you.”

The simplicity of the statement made Sam smile. “That’s it?”

His angel nodded. “I thought through his words, and I commend him on his insight. But he doesn’t know you as I do. If he did, he would follow your instincts with no hesitation as well, because he would know they are sound.”

The praise made him warm from the inside out. He sat beside Castiel and kissed him gently. “I make mistakes.”

“And you learn from them. You grow from them. I hope his new leader has the same humility.”

In spite of the sentiment of Castiel’s words, something nagged at Sam. “I’m not your leader, Cas. If anything, Dean-“

“Dean is a natural leader, and I will confidently fight at his side for the rest of our days. But I look to you as my own soul, Sam. As an angel, I have no soul, but you are that to me. I have felt that way since your brief time without one yourself. The contrast between the two people you have been is so extreme.”

Sam stared at him. 

“I observed you without your soul, and I no longer recognized my friend. Once you were whole again, once we were both ourselves again, I was so relieved and comforted by your return. You are my soul, Sam. With you, I am complete and right. Without you, I am hollow and lost. The words of another mean very little to me. They can follow their constellations. I know my guiding star, and I trust it with all my heart.”

Tears pricked at the backs of Sam’s eyes. “God, Cas. I’m such a mess! How can I be what guides you?”

“You are. And...and I want you to be my guide in all things, for all time. Sam, I want to ask something of you. Something important. Something that means everything to me.”

A tear slid down his cheek, and he laughed in embarrassment. “Anything, man. You know that,” he added as he wiped the tear away. 

Castiel watched him for a long moment, then took a breath. “Everything,” he corrected quietly.

Sam smiled and took his hands. “Anything and everything. I promise.”

“A few mornings ago, we began to speak of angel culture. And then we were distracted by talk of rituals and star maps.”

“I remember.”

It shocked Sam to realize that his lover was trembling, in a way Sam hadn’t known him to do since first confessing to being in love with his friend. The angel swallowed and cleared his throat alternately for a time, then at last spoke again. “Sam, I like you.”

Nervous energy made him want to laugh. But years of experience pretending Dean wasn’t funny kept him from doing so now. “I like you too, Cas.”

Castiel nodded, and seemed to gather strength. “Over the many eons, a very small number of angels have-have partnered together. They paired eternally. It-it is a very rare thing, but it happens at times, and it is permissible only under extraordinary circumstances. Once paired, the two are connected in-in a way that-in a way which is described as-they are given access to one another in a way in which no other-That is, all angels-not me nor Lucifer, of course, and Anna was ever an exception-“

“Cas?”

His voice steadied his lover, who sighed with frustration. “All angels are connected, as you know.”

“Angel radio.”

“Yes. But a pair which has been joined in this way is more intimately...joined.”

A slow smile crept upon Sam’s features. His heart began to speed its work. “Yeah? And did you? Ever pair up?”

Castiel jumped up from the bed to pace. “Of course not. You know I haven’t. But my whole life, I’ve wanted...It’s something which a soldier such as myself was never supposed to want. Duty was everything. There was no room for anything else in our hearts. And yet…”

Sam had become very still in the wake of Castiel’s anxious movement. “It’s something you wanted anyway.”

Suddenly, Castiel whirled back around, and dropped down to sit on his heels, staring up into Sam’s face with desperation. “I wanted it, Sam!” he cried. “I prayed for God to remove that desire from my heart, but still I ached for it. Each time I was realigned by Naomi or one of the others, I eventually returned to it. I didn’t have any idea what it was, but I wanted it.”

The hunter could feel his breath becoming shallow. He stared into the intensity of Castiel’s gaze, and it frightened him how frantic he was becoming, how feverish he was to fill that need for his angel. Whatever it was that Castiel wanted so much, Sam wanted to be the one to give it to him. 

“To pair with another angel, to share grace and love between us two...It sounded so beautiful…”

An abrupt pain struck Sam in the chest, and he sucked in his breath. Horror filled him from tip to toe in one merciless flood. “Cas? Are you...are you saying…” He swallowed hard, as sickening heat flushed his mouth without warning. He was afraid he might throw up. “Cas, I’m so sorry! It’s not enough. It hasn’t been enough for you! I’m so sorry! I’ve been so preoccupied with hunting, and-and that’s no excuse, but I never realized...Cas, how long have you tried to tell me? How long have I not been-how long have I not been paying attention? I should have realized. I was never going to be enough for you, was I? God, Cas.”

Castiel was frowning now. “Sam? Why are you apologizing?”

He was never going to take a full breath again. It was just like when the bastard Oso had knocked the wind from him. It was just like when he was running, out of breath, and then he was flat on his back, staring up at impending death. It was just like that. “I should have realized what you were trying to say. You never should have had to say it. I’m sorry, Cas. God, I’m so stupid. Of course you need another angel! You-“ Shaking hands took hold of Castiel’s face, and he kissed him on the lips, even as tears ran unchecked down his face. “I’m so sorry, my love. God, I love you so much. You’ve wanted to pair with another angel all this time, but you stayed with me for years, because-because you know-you know how in love with you I am, and…” Sam’s voice faded out until All that remained was a sob. “And all week, you’ve been trying to tell me…” 

Castiel stood slowly. 

Sam closed his eyes in a flinch. He couldn’t look at that handsome face any longer. 

“I’ve been trying to tell you…” Castiel’s confused frown turned into stubborn determination. “Sam, I’ve been trying to ask you all week if you would join with me. Be my partner, and share everything with me. Pair with me for eternity.”

His eyes shot open again, and his mouth fell open too. He heard a small noise come from his own throat, but he wasn’t sure what it was. 

Castiel rolled his eyes with characteristic exasperation. “Sam, I’m just trying to ask you to marry me.”

The laugh burst from Sam’s chest, and it began as a relieved sob. “Angels get married?” he barked out. 

His lover threw his hands in the air. 

Sam stumbled to his feet, and wrapped his arms around the aggravated celestial. His laugh continued, and gradually sounded more jovial. “Cas! Yeah! That’s-I’m so sorry. Yeah. I want to marry you. To join you, or pair with you or whatever. Whatever it is, I want that. God. I thought you were trying to find the right way to leave me!”

“Leave you! Sam, I just told you that you are my soul, that I’m lost without you! That the connection we share is what I’ve sought for eons! How could you think I wanted to leave you?”

For once, the tears weren’t painful. “I love you, angel! I love you. Don’t leave me, okay? I’ll listen better, and I’ll pay attention, and I’ll take time away from hunting, and I’ll-“

“You’ll do no such thing,” Castiel murmured into his ear. His hand combed through Sam’s hair, with tenderness that nothing of Castiel’s immense strength should possess. “I fell in love with a hunter, one who is ceaselessly devoted to his brother and the fight. I will never ask you to be anything but what you are, because what you are is infinitely enough. No angel could ever be what you are to me, Sam. My whole life, I’ve searched Heaven for one I couldn’t live without. It’s you.”


	11. Ever After

Dean was scowling irritably. “This is stupid.”

His friend kissed his cheek. “Shut up. It’s lovely.”

“It’s stupid,” he muttered again, but the kiss had taken the heat from his mood and placed it in his cheeks instead.

Sam smirked at him. “Dude, you’re always a bitch at my weddings,” he joked. “Cas even asked your blessing. That puts this above Vegas with Becky Rosen, right?”

Dean glowered back. “Anything is better than that.”

“That marriage was annulled, yah?”

Sam gave his brother’s date a laugh. “You betcha,” he teased.

Donna winked at him.

Castiel had heard enough. “Sheriff Mills, since Dean is determined to take the joy out of what amounts to the happiest day of my life, could we simply move on with it?”

Jody curled her finger at the young woman at Castiel’s side. “Got a ring, kid?”

Claire’s smug grin was enough to take Castiel’s breath away. If he lived another millennia, he would never forget his gratitude to her for standing beside him as he joined with Sam. It was her blessing, far more than Dean’s, which meant so much to him. Dean pretended to be out of sorts about the whole thing, but Castiel knew better. With Claire, he was never certain if she would view him with favor or disdain. Her support was invaluable to him.

The strange development between Dean and Donna seemed to have shocked Dean himself far more than Sam or Castiel. Donna had helped Castiel with preparation for the more human portions of the ritual, and they had become confidants in a short time. It was Donna who had gone with him to ask Claire if she would be there for him. Castiel was pleased that she and his human-brother were making one another happy. Human lives were so short, and if these hunters could ward themselves from loneliness, Castiel wanted that for them.

Jody looked ethereal and wise in her simple white dress. She gave a short speech about love transcending all boundaries and defeating all evil. She asked them each for consent, which they gave, and made them promise unnecessarily redundant things like loyalty. Then she pronounced them joined, and in a blink, it was done.

There was laughter and congratulations, drinking, quite a bit of kissing in front of everyone, story-telling and familial ribbing, and the festivities did not end until late into the evening. Jody and Claire said their goodbyes and disappeared down the road. Castiel experienced the same worry in his heart as always, watching Claire ride away. But he liked Jody very much. If anyone could keep that wayward human safe, it was Jody Mills. He was sure of it. Donna and Dean slipped away too, and Castiel knew not to bother worrying about them.

The human event was finished.

Sam’s hand slid into his in a perfect fit. “So? You ready?”

He sighed happily. “I’ve been ready all my life.”

They talked very little on the way, beyond shared snickers about Dean, and the way he had pretended not to get emotional when he saw that they had provided pie instead of the traditional cake, just for him.

It was nearly midnight when they reached their destination. They climbed out of the Impala, and Castiel noted with fondness the way Sam silently touched his fingers to his lips, then to the car’s hood on his way by. Their hands clasped together again, and they walked side by side into the field of wildflowers Castiel had sought out for their use.

Sam took a deep breath in through his nose, and smiled. “It’s perfect, Cas.”

They stopped among the flowers and faced one another.

“What now?” Sam whispered.

Emotion was overwhelming Castiel. He found it difficult to speak. “Yes, well, now...now…”

“Now the two of you are joined for eternity.”

The hunter and the angel were back to back in an instant, an angel blade and a handgun each held in confident, trained hands. Both froze when they saw who the voice belonged to.

“Chuck!” Sam yelped.

“Father!” Castiel cried.

The vessel had not changed since last God was seen. He smiled up at them in amusement. “Hey, guys.”

Castiel let all his breath out at once, but Sam spoke up. “What-what are you doing here? I thought you and your sister…”

“Yeah, we did. We are. This will only take a minute, then it’s back to the family reunion.” Chuck shrugged. “Castiel, how did you think this was going to go without an officiant?”

Tears streamed down Castiel’s cheeks, but he barely noticed. “You would bless my pairing?” he hissed. It was infinitely more than he had ever thought to want.

But his Father touched his arm gently. “You’ve prayed that I take away your desire to be joined, Son. But I knew one day you’d find what you searched for.” He shrugged again. “Contrary to what they say, I’m not all that jealous a god. There’s enough love to go around. And as far as partners go? Sam’s a good choice. And ditto for you, Sam. Castiel is one of my favorites, you know. I mean, so was Lucifer. But that’s beside the point. You two ready?”

Castiel nodded mutely, and Sam put away his weapon, gesturing to his angel to do the same.

“Okay, hands!”

Sam blinked, but Castiel grabbed his hands in each of his own with urgency. Excitement led him now. He hadn’t known if the joining could be completed without another angel to officiate it. He hadn’t even known if it would work with a human at all. To have his Father’s blessing was to ensure the ritual would be successful, and any sense of residual, ancient guilt was wiped clean.

Chuck grinned. He put His own hand over the other four.

Castiel sighed happily, while Sam gasped in his own breath, as tendrils of delicate luminescence appeared to tangle intimately around their wrists.

“Just a splash of angel grace,” Chuck muttered to Himself, “a dash of human soul, smidgen of time, pinch of promise, and a nip of primordial tenacity for the adhesive, sprinkle in humor to taste, and blend well...Seal it all together with the blessings and love of family. Voila. Eternity à la Chuck.”

Castiel closed his eyes. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“I don’t...I don’t feel any different.”

Chuck was laughing at Sam when Castiel looked again. “Of course not. You two have been joined for years. I just baked it all in to preserve it for all time. Nothing needs to change, because all the ingredients were right for the job. What you two have? It’s good stuff. It’s why I made love. You know? Because every so often, somebody gets it. Like you two. Okay, I’m going to go now, but, you know. Be good.”

“Thank you!” Castiel breathed again.

His Father was gone in a blink, but the ritual was complete. He and Sam were bound together for all time.

Sam was still holding his hand. “What now, angel?” he asked with a smile.

Castiel had no idea what now. But he couldn’t wait to find out.


End file.
